Finally, an answer to a question as old as time itself: who the fuck should pay for dinner? Well, it’s not as simple as you might think. Who should pay for dinner is heavily dependent on whatever situation you happen to be in. Really, it comes down to how you want to present yourself and what kind of impression you want to leave. Let us take you through a few different scenarios, and how you should act when it comes time to pay the bill.
When you find yourself on a first date, there’s a myriad of different impressions you can leave. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, if you want to make a good impression, you have to make a bold fucking move. You essentially have two options: you can roll over and split the bill like a pussy, or you can show your date that you have some gusto and take care of the entire bill. Now, we’re not suggesting that splitting the bill isn’t a totally viable option, but if you want to come off as a stand-up and reliable date, take care of the god damn bill. A good rule of thumb to follow is that if you invited them out, you pick up the check.
Once you’ve settled into a relationship, the who pays for what question becomes a little more abstract. When you start to get comfortable with each other, neither of you really give a flying shit about impressing the other. So, what are you supposed to do? This is one of those situations where splitting the bill is a completely rational option without even having to worry about saving face in front of your date. You both have an equal stake in this relationship, so hey, splitting the check is a great idea. If you’re not into the whole splitting thing, playing rock paper scissors to see who pays is a great way to keep things fun. Flipping a coin is also a viable option, or if you’re feeling particularly saucy, make a bet, loser pays. Honestly, you can settle this one however you want.
This one is tricky. Anything that happens for the sake of the company should ideally be picked up by the company credit card. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. so let’s take a look at a few different situations, and how you might split the bill:
1. Dinner with a client: If you have a lunch with a client with the intention of trying to increase already existing business, it would be wise to pay for dinner. The whole point is to butter them up. Making them pay for their own meal would just be a tactically-poor decision.
2. Employee organized celebration: Let’s say that, for example, you and all your co-workers get together to celebrate a milestone that has to do with the company you work for. Everybody involved should be ready to pay their share. Now, if your employer isn’t a piece of shit, they’ll probably be there to celebrate with you and hopefully foot the bill. But if not, paying for what you had to eat should be common practice.
3. Company event: If you have to pay your way into a company event, your boss is just a bag of dicks and you should probably find a new job anyway.
No one should have to pay for anything on their birthday. If you take a significant other out to dinner to celebrate the day they slid out of their mother’s vagina, it’s on you to pay for dinner. In the case of a birthday party, you have two options: either you can sack up and pay for the entire thing with your credit card, or everyone can pay their share, including an equal portion of the birthday boy/girl’s meal.
Paying for dinner from time to time is important. It shows the people around you that you care about them, and more importantly, that you aren’t a cheap bastard. It’s a good way to thank your friends when they’ve been good to you and a perfect way to show that special someone their worth the price of their 27$ steak dinner.