Dancing at a Rave: How Not to Look like an Idiot

Dancing at a rave is a delicate activity. You’re in this hot, sweaty environment where everyone is off their skulls on booze and drugs. And what do you do when you’re off your skull? Above all, you try to bang each other stupid. The last thing you want is to look like a total asshole when you’re out dancing at a rave. Not to worry, we here at The Chalkdown are here to help with the definitive guide on how to rave without looking like a dickhead. First and foremost, this guide will cover the basics of keeping you looking like a viable prospect out on the floor. So settle in for a little read and learn a bit about how to dance at a rave.

Learn a few moves

The worst possible thing you can do at a rave is to go completely unprepared. While most people think they can get by just following along and doing whatever pops into their shiny dumb heads, it’s always better to have a few moves in your back pocket. Learn to dance with your entire body. When you’re dancing at a rave, your body is essentially just an extension of the music. Loosen up and let the music flow through you. The most important thing is to get your hips moving. Nobody likes a weird dude just bobbing their head back and forth in the middle of the dance floor. When push comes to shove, all you really need is to get your shoulders going in unison with your lower half and you’re guaranteed to almost look like you know what the fuck you’re doing.

Keep your shirt on, Fabio

There are a number of reasons why you might think that taking your shirt off at a rave is a good idea. Well, guess what? It’s fucking not. Nobody wants to dance around some cockbag whose sweating all over their fully clothed bodies. Do yourself and everyone else a favour and keep your god damn clothes on when you’re dancing at a rave.

Grinding at a rave

That brings us to our next point: when is it appropriate to grind at a rave? There are two answers to this question. If you’re a babe, the answer is always. I don’t care what you and your liberal agenda have to say about gender equality, but the fact is, if you’re a hottie with a body, you can rub your ass against anyone’s crotch and no one’s gonna give a shit. Now, for everyone else, if you want to get your cock grinding at a rave, you need to be strategic. We know there’s not much of a place for quiet conversation at a rave, but body language can go a long way. Before you decide to drive your pecker into some poor girls unsuspecting ass, be sure you’re on the same page.

When dancing at a rave, be fucked up

We know what fucked up usually means at a rave: drugs. But if that’s not your particular brand of whiskey, take a quick look at our guide on what to drink tonight to ensure proper lubrication for all your inhibitions. Drugs are great, they keep you groovy. Quite honestly, they make you care a whole hell of a lot less about what people think of you. Dancing like no one is watching is a great way to stay cool on the dance floor.

When in doubt, check people out

If you really wanna learn how to dance at a rave, just look at the people around you. When in doubt, just do whatever the fuck they’re doing. It’s not an exam, you’re not gonna get expelled for copying someone else’s style. If anything people will be flattered that you were inspired by their moves. So if you’re that much of an unimaginative fuck, feel free to rip other people off and have a great time doing it.

Guide on how to dance at a rave.

How to dance at a rave when it’s too crowded

You can’t get around it, the dance floor at any rave will be crowded as hell. Respect the personal space of everyone around you. Don’t go around flailing your arms like a retard, smacking people in the face. Keep to yourself and your group of friends. Most importantly, if someone gets in your face and tries to start a fight, turn away immediately. Never fight. If you get into a fight, security will throw you the fuck out. Keep to yourself and keep on grooving.

There you have it, follow these siimple guidelines and no one will laugh at you the next time you’re out dancing at a rave.

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